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Welcome to my personal blog. I have another blog, Herbert's Place, but that one limits me to what I sometimes want to publish, because it is mainly used to promote my books. As it says in the header, I want to use this blog to write about things that have nothing to do with my books. There is no real theme here. I'll be writing about anything that causes me to either be happy or somethings that concerns me. It could be political, travel, a hobby, or anything else. So come and visit me sometimes.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Spanking...a new revelation. Or: It's not my fault. Blame my parents or my teachers


 Researchers have discovered that children who get spanked develop paranoia and become drunks. Wow! Where the hell do they come up with that one? It never amazes me what the ‘experts’ come up with. How old were these researchers?

If that were true then every one in my generation should be a paranoid drunk! I was spanked when I was a kid and I’m not paranoid, I drink very little alcohol. I don’t smoke, either, even though my dad smoked a pipe. (That one little tidbit is for those psychiatrists and psychologist and researchers who believe children always copy what their parents do). None of my friends from my generation have problems with paranoia or alcohol. None of them do drugs, either. Something that can’t be said for the new generations who grew up not being spanked when they misbehaved. Their parents probably let them do anything they wanted.

What a revelation! Now I finally know why there are so many drunken and homeless people downtown. They were all spanked when they were kids. My theory is they may not be in their position had they been spanked a little and taught some discipline, but that’s only my theory. I’m not an expert in these matters. I only use my brain to figure out things I observe.

I find that many kids these days have no respect for older people, their teachers, policemen (policewomen), even their parents. Parents are not buddies to little children. Their job is to teach them and discipline them when they do something wrong. A little pat on the naked butt never hurts their tender psyche.

Undisciplined children get a rude awakening when they grow up and suddenly discover they can’t get away with doing anything they want. There are certain laws they must obey. If they don’t follow rules they get punished, either with a fine or even sent to prison if their crime warrants it. Had they been punished for misbehaving when they were small they may have learned respect for rules and the law. And some kids need a little more than just being talked to.

Why do people always have to blame somebody else for their problems? Instead of saying: “I’m a drunk or a drug addict because I got spanked when I was a kid,” they should say, “I’m a drunk because I can’t control myself. I never learned any discipline; I was never taught how to control my urges. My parents didn’t punish me when I did something wrong because they didn’t want to hurt my psyche, but, yes, I take full responsibility for my actions.”

Some people gamble, some take drugs, some drink excessively, some are paranoid. Some people are just plain crazy. Some don’t know how to handle money; they borrow too much, overextend their credit, charge their credit accounts to the limit, buy on impulse. Some men beat their wives, their children. Some get into fights, some steal, break into cars, rob people. Some rape women and abuse children. When they get caught they blame it on something or other, never take responsibility. Like Vince Li, who murdered a guy and cut off his head, because he heard voices telling him to do that. It wasn’t his fault. He is in a mental hospital in Selkirk now and doing fine…according to his doctor, who is probably a psychiatrist. I don’t know if he still hears voices. I wonder if he got spanked when he was a kid.

The problem is that people confuse spanking with beating. No, you don’t beat your children. Neither does a husband beat his wife, (or the other way around. It happens!) It’s a crime and should be punished severely. Inflicting pain on others is a crime. Spanking is not inflicting pain. I got spanked, on the buttocks with a belt. Spanked with a belt not beaten with a stick. The belt was soft, so were my buttocks. Sure it hurt, but it didn’t cause any permanent damage. My dad never hit me anywhere else, never in the face, on the head, or on the chest or back. He never took out his anger on us children. When we got spanked we deserved it. He was stern and taught us respect for rules and the law. We had respect for our teachers, the police, older people, and our parents. We did not call older people by their first name, we called them Mr or Mrs. In some cases perhaps ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunt’, but never by their first name only.

I cannot agree with these researchers. Paranoia, drunkenness, and other problems are not caused when children are spanked. People develop those things as they grow older. Some people can’t cope with life so they take refuge in drugs or alcohol. Some people are just born with bad genes. Not their fault. My advice: deal with it. Don’t look for causes and don’t blame others. Get help. Try to solve your problem. Learn to meditate. Pray. Get busy. Maybe even get a job if you don’t have one. Educate yourself. Take up a hobby. Get into sports. Do something but don’t mope and feel sorry for yourself. And above all: Don’t blame your parents for your problems! You and you alone are responsible.

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