I'm a guest blogger today

I’m a guest today at Barbara Bradley’s blog. If you are interested, please, go and visit her blog and read about it

http://barbaradonlonbradley.blogspot.ca/2014/05/meet-my-next-guest-herbert-grosshans.html

#Gardening is Fun

 It never fails. I’m out there working in my garden on the hottest day of Spring. And I’m working against the clock. Yesterday the temperature soared to 33.3 C. It was stifling hot. I started getting my garden ready. First job was to make the beds for the plants and seeds. That is usually the most gruelling job. I grow my vegetables in raised beds. I’ve done so since I started gardening. Why? I read it in my Gardening book and it works for me.

I was done with that by 1:00 o’clock. Working during that time of day is not too smart, because that’s when it is hottest. I think I spent more time sitting on a lawn chair in the shade of the old spruce tree, gasping for breath and drinking cold water. Well, actually the spruce tree is not even 20 years old, but it is the tree closest to the garden and it does provide nice shade.

While I sat there contemplating life I also wondered why I was torturing myself. I’m talking about killing myself on the hottest day of the year just to have my own vegetables. I can buy all the vegetables I want and need without suffering hot days in the sun and without overtaxed muscles or joints. Then I thought about the tomatoes I’ll be harvesting and the sweet ripe cucumbers I’ll be picking. That’s when I knew why I did it. I remembered the tomatoes we buy in the store. We buy them seldom. I might as well grab a handful of grass, dip it into red food coloring and roll it into a ball. And then eat it. The taste will be the same as eating bought tomatoes. Thinking about those delicious tomatoes and the different lettuce I was growing gave me strength and vigor. And let’s not forget all those wonderful peppers I use to make my own salsa. There is nothing more relaxing and satisfying than picking beans. I won’t talk about the inevitable weeds. They are one of the nuisances along with the mosquitoes a gardener has to face and tolerate. Nothing is ever easy, but when you love doing what you do it isn’t a chore.

After lunch I seeded a couple of rows of Yukon potatoes. This is the first year I’m growing potatoes. Apparently nothing compares to homegrown potatoes. I can already taste them.

It started raining at 4 o’clock. I wasn’t surprised. It happens every year. I’m in the middle of seeding and the weather people decide to make my day miserable. I’m at their mercy. It must be a government conspiracy to make life difficult for us gardeners. These days I blame everything on the government. I just can’t figure out how they know I’m working in the garden. Do they have satellites overhead watching? Am I getting paranoid? Must be a sign of old age. They say gardening is fun, healthy, and it makes you feel good. So why am I so sore and tired today? Another lie we’ve been told by the drug companies so they can sell us those painkillers.  But that’s okay. I will fight on. This garden will be finished eventually. That is a promise. I won’t give up, despite their efforts to stop me...

It’s raining today and the temperature is not comfortable, so I shall relax and plan my next move. And I shall complain and whine a bit. Bare my soul so to speak.

By the way, on Friday when I was shopping for vegetables for the garden I hit my head on a hanging basket. Does that explain why I’m rambling on? Maybe I should sue. Everybody sues somebody these days. Omar AhmedKhadr is being sued for 50 million dollars by the Americans and Khadr sues our government for 60 million dollars. Quite some nerve that guy has. The only ones making money will be the lawyers. Anyone know a good lawyer? One who isn’t too expensive? One who understands the plight of a gardener?

The Plaid Shirt

I bought a shirt at #Wal-Mart. Yes, I am a Wal-Mart Shopper. I’m not prejudiced against any store and I’m not fussy where I buy my stuff, as long as the price is right. Friday is usually our grocery shopping day. We buy groceries at Wal-Mart, #Extra Food and sometimes #Safeway or #Co-op, whoever has the best deals. Those are the only large grocery stores where we live. We don’t have much choice. Wal-Mart has better prices than Safeway and the food is just as fresh and so is the quality. Like I said, I’m not prejudiced.

Last Friday, while shopping, I came across a rack with shirts hanging on it. The sign above it said ‘Sale’. The sticker price was $3.00, down from $23.00. That caught my eye. When I see a price like that it spikes my interest. Not that I don’t have any shirts at home; I’ve got plenty, but there is always room for another shirt in my closet. Besides, how can I turn down a shirt for $3.00? A brand new shirt, too. And they all looked good. You can’t even buy the material for that kind of money, never mind spending hours and hours sewing it. Not that I could, anyway. I might be a handy guy with many things, but sewing a shirt isn’t one of them. I leave that up to the women in Bangladesh.

My wife, who saw me looking at the shirts, said, “You don’t need another shirt.” Just like that.

I said, “It’s not always about the need. Look at the price.”

“These are cheap shirts. You don’t buy a shirt at Wal-Mart.”

“They are down from $23.00. That’s not that cheap,” I argued.

“The reason they are on sale is because nobody buys them. When would you wear it?”

“At home. Maybe in the garden or yard. Nobody will see me in this shirt.”

“I’ll see you wearing it. Don’t I count?”

They always get you with that one. Don’t I count?

“Of course you count. But it’s not a bad looking shirt.”

Husbands think and reason completely different from their wives. I don’t even try to figure out how my wife thinks. When I contemplated buying that shirt I was aware there was a good chance I may never wear it anywhere but at home. The only people seeing me in it would be my wife and my neighbors, but if the neighbors see me wearing it they’ll be working in the yard just like me and they won’t be wearing their Sunday’s best. They may even wonder why I’m wearing such a fancy shirt. If, for some reason, I should end up wearing it in public, nobody will even notice me in that shirt. I’m quite sure of that. I see what the fashion is these days. Anyone buying new jeans with holes in them and wearing them with the crotch down to their knees and the crack of their butt showing has no right to criticize me in my plaid shirt.

“You don’t even know if it fits you,” my wife said.

“It will fit. The label says M/M on the collar. That’s my size.”

“That means nothing. You know the problem we have when we buy a shirt for you.”

Oh yes, I do, I thought but didn’t say it. “This one will fit,” I said. “I have a good feeling about it.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want.” She shrugged, as if saying, “It’s your funeral.”

You see, I usually don’t buy my own shirts. My wife does. I’m just there to model them for her before we buy. I have to try on many shirts before I get the okay to buy one. Now, before you make a comment like, “Don’t you have your own opinion?” let me explain. I have plenty of opinion, but I’ve been married long enough to have learned that you don’t buy any clothes without your wife’s approval. Any married man knows what I’m talking about. There is nothing worse than hearing, “Are you really going to wear that shirt?” She doesn’t even have to say the next sentence, “If you insist on wearing that thing you may not leave the house alive. I’m not going out with you dressed like that.” It’s the sentence of death I try to avoid. Besides, the same goes for the pants and the belt. Yes, it doesn’t stop with just the shirt.

I had been eyeing a reddish-brown plaid shirt, and I thought it looked nice. And most importantly, the price was right. So I made an executive decision. I pulled the plaid shirt off the rack and put it into our shopping cart. “I’m buying this one.”

“If you insist. I don’t really care, but don’t tell anyone you bought a shirt for $3.00 at Wal-Mart.”

“Why not?”

“Because! We never buy shirts at Wal-Mart.”

“This is actually a $23.00 shirt,” I argued. “Perhaps that was already a sale price.”

“It’s a cheap shirt.”

Men and women don’t think alike. Everyone knows that. Especially when it comes to buying and wearing clothes. A woman will be horrified to go to a party and find another woman is wearing the same dress. A man, however, will be happy to know that another man has the same taste as he when he sees him wearing the same suit, or shoes, or shirt.

Let’s assume a friend will see me in this shirt. Since I’m a guy, in my mind the meeting would play out like this:

The friend will say, “Hey, nice shirt.”

I’d answer, “I paid three bucks for it.”

Friend: “No kidding. Where did you buy it?”

“At Wal-Mart.”

“Do they have any left?”

“There were quite a few when I bought it, but they may be gone now. I mean, for three bucks. That’s a steal.”

“No kidding. I should take my wife there and show her the shirts. Maybe they’ll still have some and she’ll let me buy one. Maybe even a plaid shirt like yours. Wouldn’t it be cool if you and I would both wear the same shirt? I really like this shirt.”

“So do I. That’s why I bought it. And to think I only paid three dollars for it.”

“Unbelievable.”

My wife would probably be horrified to witness such a meeting. And my friend’s wife would be horrified to find out he’s even thinking about buying the same shirt for three bucks at Wal-Mart or any other place.

Now, if this meeting would take place with two women and it should so happen that one of them wears a three dollar blouse or dress, one she bought at a terrific sale price, it would go down in a different way. There would be no mention about getting a bargain. 

When I tried on the shirt at home, even my wife admitted it fit nicely and I looked good in it.

There is only one thing still. The shirt hasn’t been washed yet. Will it still fit and will the material still look nice after the first wash? Or will it be in the next package my wife donates to #Goodwill?

Another visitor to the #bird feeder

Yesterday and today we had another visitor to our bird feeder. This one is an #Oriole. They don't come too often and they are quite shy. It fed a little from the hummingbird feeder, but the bird is too big for the feeder. So we'll have to buy a feeder for the Orioles, hopefully they stay around. They are such beautiful birds. I managed to snap a couple of pictures before it flew away.

#Hawk

Yesterday we had a visitor to our bird feeder. Since we feed the birds and care for their welfare, we don't usually get excited, when a predatory bird, like this hawk, pays us a visit. Actually, we do get excited, but not in a good way, and we make every effort to make them leave as quickly as possible. We consider our property a sanctuary for song birds, even the sparrows. However, hawks are majestic and beautiful birds and do have their place in this world. They happen to be predators. Not their fault. Well, here are a couple of pictures I managed to snap before it took off again:

Looking at these pictures reminds me that I have to paint the bird feeder.

A somewhat reluctant announcement

I like to keep my private blog and my writer's blog separate, but since writing is part of my life I am making a quick announcement here. For those who are not interested, please, ignore it. For those who want to know what I'm up to with my writing, here it is:

I just lowered the price of my books on #Smashwords. Dark World and A Matter of Integrity are available now for a limited time at the price of $1.99. Alien World is still free.

Here are the links:

#Dark World:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/370920

#A Matter of Integrity:

at Smashwords:   https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/432389

It is also available from the Apple iBookstore:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/a-matter-of-integrity/id869721766?mt=11

A race against the clock

No it’s not a movie I watched, it’s not a book I read, and it isn’t a book I’m writing. It is my life story. It seems I’m always working with some kind of deadline looming above me.

Yesterday we cleaned our yard. It did want to rain a few times, we got some drops but that was all. Today’s plan was to till my garden. When I looked out this morning, it was cloudy. The weather people forecast some clouds but otherwise a beautiful day. I should have known better. These people know nothing! My barometer is more accurate in forecasting the weather.

After breakfast I went outside. It was cool but perfect temperature for working in the yard or garden. I got my tiller ready. It started with the first pull. Great. Everything was set and it would be a successful day. I transported a couple of bags of Alfalfa pellets (fertilizer) and a bag of claybuster (to loosen up the clay) in the wheelbarrow to the garden. I barely managed to spread the Alfalfa and most of the claybuster when the first not predicted raindrops fell. I say them on the wheelbarrow as they made dark spots on the yellow color.

I didn’t give up and got going with the tilling. My garden is approximately 1000 sqft and I raced through it, tilling under the stuff I had spread. There was still a bag of dry leaves I wanted to also till into the soil, but I didn’t get a change to spread the leaves. I barely managed to finish tilling the garden once, when the rain became more than just drops. But I still persevered. I got a rake and smoothed out the soil, something I usually do as I till by walking beside the tiller instead of behind it. You don’t want foot prints and trenches on the soil while it packs down after the tilling.

Well, I made it with the tilling. I had in mind to already seed some potatoes and onions, but the soil was beginning to get sticky and so I had to give up that notion. Too bad.

I have no idea how and where the weather people get their information about the coming weather, but maybe they should look for a different source and method. Maybe looking out of the window would help. Or getting a weather frog. An old-fashioned barometer also works quite well.