A relaxing #winter day

Just came in from blowing the snow off the driveway. It snowed yesterday but not much. It's minus 4 C outside and hardly any wind. Actually, a nice winter day. The sun is trying to take a peek through the clouds once-in-awhile.

I fooled around a little with my computer; did some searching on the internet which usually ends up as a complete waste of time. Then I ran across something in my archives which I found funny, so I thought, for lack of anything else to blog about, I'll put it on my blog. Perhaps you'll get a little chuckle out of it. For those, who get offended with everything that doesn't conform to their idea of political correctness, too bad. All I can say, "Lighten up, look at the fun side in things you read and see--and, for heaven's sake, Get a Life."

I'm not trying to offend anyone. All I'm saying is that people these days get offended too easily. Not everything people say and do is meant to be offensive. Think positive and smell the roses. Anyway, here it is: (You'll have to read it out loud to get the full effect)

MAFIA APPLICATION FORM

WHATZA U NAME__________________________ 

U RAGE___________________________________

WHATZA U NUMERO_______________________

WHATZA U BAG: HITAMAN_________LONA ARRANGER__________PROSTITUIT__________

IZZA U GIRL OR BOY (ORIZZA U GIRL, OH BOY)______________JUST CHEK ONE!____________

                                             (Wiezza guy)

PUTTA DOWNA WEARRA U WORGGE NOW______________________________________

WAZZA U INNA BIGGA OUSE_______FOR WHATZA U INNA DE BIGGA OUSE_­­­_______

I SHOOTE ONE GUIZE___________________I KEEDENAP SUMBODYS_______________

PROTECKSHIION RAGGETS______________UDDER THINGZA______________________

U WANNA BEA BIGGA SHOTZ SUMDAZE?____YASSE______NO_______EH__________

U LIKKA EAT GARLIC_______________PIZZA__________SALAMI___________________

U NO OW TO MAKEE CEMENT SHOOZ?__________________________________________

U DRIVA DE CAR_______DACADILLAC_______DABUICKE_________LINKEN________

ULIKKA SPAGETTI__________CALAMARI________GIRLZE________BOYZE__________

                                                                              (Peek justa one    no foola rounde cus i slapp u face)

U SEES DE GODFATHER? (or justa de movie)_______________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

WIDDE U ANTRY U GONNA GETTA SOMATING U REELY LIKE.......................................

1 pr. darke glasses                                                                               1 kiss (later on u cheek)

1 blacke shirte widda wite tie                                                             1 wite hat widda wida brim

1 pr. pointie shooz                                                                               a spumoni (Tutti Fruitti)

1 pr. cement shooz (come later when u foola rounde)                    1 lb mozzarella cheese

8 x 10 picthr FRANK SINATRA

 GOOD’E STOOF (IFFA U NOTTE SURE I TALLE YOU WHATT U GETTA WIZGUY)

JOINNE DE CLUB NOW!

WHILE U STILL CAN WRITE

                                                                                                                ___________________________________